December 9th, 2006

Current Music: elton john and leanne rhymes -- written in the stars Subject: oh shit! Time: 11:42 am Current Mood: sore

so clearly my livejournal is horrible!!!!! i am so sad and pathetic!!! so dear livejournal: i am not as sad and pathetic as it might seem. i am joyous. here's the greatest thing ever: high school musical. me and claire watched it last night. we are in love with zac efron. forever and always. mmmmmm today i am going to the saturday market with sam. it should be so lovely! and i am going to college soon. which is also lovely. --alexis

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October 31st, 2005

Current Music: absolutely nothing Subject: oh the woe. Time: 07:50 pm Current Mood: sad

i don't know how to be what i want to be. i don't exactly know what i want to be. except i konw that i am not what that is. this always reminds me of in the sisterhood of the traveling pants when alexis bledel is with her gorgeous greek boy in greece and they are hacing a romantic dinner on a boat. and alexis is talking about all of her friends, and she mentions how she is jealous of tibby because tibby is what she wants to be and she's really you know. out there. whereas alexis is really shy. and she says, i'm kind of jealous of tibby in that way. and costas says, wy? and she says, because she is who she wants to be. and costas says, aren't you? and she says, well, i think i know who i want to be. (and then they have a really romantic moment and he says somehting really sweet and we cry) but i don't think i do know that. maybe i do. anyway. so here's what happens. side note: i have the worst ugliest blisters on my feet. no joke. SO gross. and they're all over. and huge. and painful. i am affected by something stupid. and it upsets me. or it sparks

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October 15th, 2005

Current Music: the elected Subject: parents Time: 09:56 pm Current Mood: lonely

i hate that my parents only love me when i'm happy.

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February 28th, 2005

Current Music: what it's like - everlast Subject: friends Time: 12:47 am Current Mood: crazy

there's something about friends that's unlike anything else, you know? i really don't like myself right now. i'm really tired. i... wish i slept more. and i wish i slept better. i also wish i had some friends. sam isn't a very good friend. i like him, he's a funny guy and i like spending time with him. but he's not a friend. he doesn't listen. or if he listens he doesn't care. or if he cares he doesn't know what to do about it. i don't really know. i miss my sister. i miss sophie. because sophie used to be my best friend. but i don't think she likes me anymore. i mean, i think we love each other a lot. but i also think that we're not priorities to each other. it's my fault. i distanced myself from her just as much as she did from me. moreso. i did that with everyone. i'm really the bad friend. which just kind of makes everyone else go away. i'm so tired of being the bad friend. i want to fix myself, you know? i wish i were pretty and thin and nice to people. i wish my parents didn't think i was rude and a brat and a slob. and i wish my sister felt like she could talk to me. i wish i could say the right thing to my sister when she told me stuff. i wish that i felt that someone said the right thing to me when i told them stuff. i want to be able to give something to someone. you know. like a friend. i wish i could give someone something that they could be grateful for me for, you know? instead of just taking taking taking. i wish i knew how to give something back. anyway. it's hard to write stuff down. especially in livejournals. blegh. livejournal. anyway. goodnight. love alexis

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January 24th, 2005

Current Music: believer - ben kweller Subject: cried for no one Time: 08:12 pm Current Mood: sleepy

the day breaks your mind aches you find that all her words of kindness linger on when she no longer needs you she wakes up she makes up she takes her time and doesn't feel she has to hurry she no longer needs you and in her eyes you see nothing no sign of love behind the tears cried for no one a love that should have lasted years you want her you need her and yet you don't believe her when she says her loves is dead you think she needs you you stay home she goes out she says that long ago she knew someone but now he's gone she doesn't need him the day breaks your mind aches there will be times when all the things she said will fill your head; you won't forget her i'm waiting for sam lynch to come over. but he's being a fool and taking forever on his college essay. which isn't very cute if you ask me. but that's fine. i got a hundred percent on my chemistry test today. happiest day of my life. or something close to it. i like liz a lot. i like sam lynch a lot. i hate school. and i miss my sister. whoooooo!!!! alex miller is calling me a drugee. i'm not a druggee. druggy? drugie? i don't even know. i went on a run today. it's too bad i'm so fat. i had some garlic for dinner and i can taste it on my breath. it reminds me of the time that i was with alex and i ordered a garlic bagel with garlic cream cheese. he hated me the rest of that day. alex is really mean to me. for the record. i kind of want to be like... hey. you will be nice to me until you give me my virginity back. you heartless asshole. but i'm a little too chicken. and nice. or something. i just don't care enough i guess. anywayyyy... where the fuck are you sam lynch?? grrrrrrrrrrgggggggg. i'm sleepy. maybe i'll... take a nap. or something cool. i don't know. love alexis so glad you found me.

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January 9th, 2005

Current Music: the astronaut - something corporate Subject: return return Time: 03:09 pm Current Mood: productive

i just posted in my blog. so i'm not particularly inspired to write anything. but i'm kind of tired of encountering that last post of mine all the time. she wants to hear she's beautiful. so on firday i shadowed david conwell at oes all day. and i was interviewed and i kind of fibbed a little. but that's okay, right? sure. andyway, david and i had fun together. it would be fun to hang out with david all the time. i love david. it's weird how high the expectations are for like, teenagers. i feel like i kind of always have to prove something to adults. like, not tell them i play video games or talk online and that i'm really productive and do good things. but shuoldn't they... know? like, they were kids once. and they did stupid things. right? hmmmmmmmmmmm sad story. society sucks. i decided i'm going to name my kid like, fjkusfgh or something. wouldn't that be sweet? and then it would be pronounced ralf. or something. and the teacher would be calling his name in class and he'd say, just call me ralph. word. anyyyyyyyway i'm gonna go put our debate together and read. good riddance to all of you. alexis you are not alone

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December 27th, 2004

Current Music: you get what you need -- the rolling stones Subject: sex. Time: 07:45 pm Current Mood: uncomfortable

i guess i feel like i should talk about sex a little bit. hmm. like, what IS sex? haha not literally. that was a funny question though. i guess i'm thinking like, what does sex DO to you? hahaha once again a funny question. but i mean, is sex bad? i don't know what i'm saying. i thought discussing sex would provoke interesting and revolutionary thoughts about the human race. but it didn't work. so fuck. i don't want to do anything anymore. i think i'm going crazy. i said that to my sister. she didn't take me seriously. naturally, one shouldn't be taken seriously when they say they're going crazy. my parents are driving me insane. INSANE. insane. my parents are dirving me insane. they hate me. i mean, they love me unconditionally but they hate me right now. or something like that. whatever it is, they're ruining my life. i don't really know what my thinking is on this. i'm probably wrong. i'm probably wrong about everything i've ever thought. but i can't really do anything about it. i hate this room. i've been complainging about how much i hate this room all day. it's messy and its smelly. and yet, whenever i come home, i always come to this room. and sit at the computer. or take a nap. or lay in bed and cry and feel sorry for myself. maybe because i'd rather do those things than run into my parents. here's the story of what happened today in the car. my dad and i are driving to the driving range. and my dad said: "so, are you still really depressed? you're acting really melancholy. what happened between you and your mother last night?" [last night alex manning invited me to spend the night at his old house with him and his sister and my mother said no. and that made me sad, so i went to my room and fell asleep... but i neglected to tell alex that i couldn't actually go. so my mom barges into my room two hours later with alex because he came by to pick me up because he didn't know that i wasn't going and she sticks a thermometer in my mouth and tells me i can't go anywhere if i have a fever. a fever?? what the fuck, i don't have a fever. and then she yells at me for not keeping the thermometer under my tongue and then she starts yelling at alex for saying he has to go feed a dog. the world doesn't stop for you, you know, she says to him. WHAT THE FUCK. meanwhile i've just been woken up, there's light everywhere, my exboyfriend is standing in my disgusting room watching me wake up from disgusting slumber while i have a thermometer shoved down my throat?! why am i not happy with this situation? my mom finally succumbs to the fact i don't have a fever, my sister and ben barge in asking if i'm going to a movie with them... fuck. FUCK. all i want to do is go be in peace at alex's old house and sit and be peaceful. but i can't do that because i have to be home at twelve. and then suddenly everyone leaves, my mom is upstairs talking to alex about how I LIKE HIM. mom. mom. please. just get out of my business. IT IS MY BUSINESS, YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER. and then alex leaves. wait what the hell, why is alex leaving? i didn't even get to talk to him. he hugs me and apologizes for my parents and leaves and then i storm out with my sister and ben. and i'm angry, i'm sorry but i'm angry and unhappy. shit.] and so i told him that i was just disoriented and i didn't like the situation. and my dad proceeded further to mock my behavior and everything i tried telling him on christmas eve. and also to tell me that my mom was definitely not in the wrong under those circumstances. [on christmas eve, my father got angry with me so i tried opening up to him and telling him about my life and he responded with: 'hmm, well i'm tired i'm going to bed merry christmas.' how encouraging.] anyway. and so then i didn't want to say anything to him because he was being rude. right? right. okay so then he asked me about my plans tonight. and at that point i just really didn't want to have a conversation with him about anything because he was so neglegent to acknoledging my feelings. so i just responded shortly and quietly so as not to be boisterous. but no. that was absolutely horrible of me. how could i possibly have given my dad 1-3 word naswers this entire time? and so thus, my father proceeded to interrogate me on how i've become so rude, mean, insensitive and disresepctful. "Is this the 'cool' thing of 2004? to be a bitch? is that what you want? to be cool? what have you done to yourself?" god dad, you're so totally right. that tirade was DEFINITELY the cure to my unhappiness. you're brilliant. and that's the relationship i have with my parents. they won't fucking listen to me. it doesn't matter what the fuck i tell them about any situation. i'm just a stupid irrational teenager who disrespects her parents and wnats nothing more than to be cool. okay so if that's the case, why don't you try and fix me? you fucking raised me. i don't know what the fuck to do anymore. i don't have any will power or motivation or anything. i'm empty. and all you can do is yell at me for it. i hate them so much right now. be concerned about your daughter, take her seriously for god's sake. or don't. and let me rot in my hole by myself. but dont fucking complain because i'm doing the best i can. and on that note, i bid you adieu. and i apologize for my insensibility. is that a word? well. whatever. sorry about ranting. about something that's obviously not my fault. alexis signs out.

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December 19th, 2004

Current Music: deadly handsome man - marcy playground Subject: fo'ever. Time: 07:54 pm Current Mood: weird

i haven't updated in forever. because everytime i do livejournal things i read my last post. and i realize that if i post... right then... i'll write about something stupid and melodramatic. and then i think... hmm. i probably just shouldn't post. because no one will want to read it. so i don't. which is stupid. my mood should not hinder my liverjournal writing. i suppose. either way... it kind of upsets me that i won't be able to look back at this point in my life and remember how fucking unhappy i was. i've decided that i have like, eighteen thousand psychological disorders that prevent me from being normal. i've been talking to mr. higbee about my psyche. about how i depend too much on other people for happiness. that was basically the conclusion we came to. and i've realized that i have no promise in fixing it. like, there's nothing for me to do about it. or if there is, i don't know how. and thus i'm caught in this constant spiral of mixed emotions and aaahhhhhhh it's confusing. anyway. i'm going to keegans and then brooke and maddi are spending the night. i want to write write write all the time again. maybe i will. duhn duhhhhhhhh... love alexis deadly handsome man.

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October 29th, 2004

Current Music: house of the rising sun Subject: faulting. Time: 06:41 pm Current Mood: hungry

it's not that i don't have tiime to post in my livejournal. quite the contrary actually. it's more like, i make time to post in my livejournal. the problem is all i ever post about is stupid i hate alex i miss sophie my life is miserable. and i hate reading about that over... and over... and over... in peoples' livejournals, that is most definitely the truth. and thus i have come to the conclusion that youuuuuuuuuuu all wouldn't like hearing about it either. so the deal is i am perky enough to give a good entry. oh yes. not quite elated. but perky. so i realized that i haven't ummm SEEN my dad in like, 5 days. not because either of us has been out of town or anything... but seriously. since monday, neither one of us has been at our house awake while the other one is. waaaay creepy. my dad came into my room today and he was like, hi i love you. and i said hi i love you. and then it was definitely like a double take. WHOA DAD WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!?!? anyway, it was a good feeling. i'm eating dinner with my parents tonight. because i'm kind of bomb. anyway. HERE'S THE DEAL i'm on snowboard team. YESSSS i am sooo excited. so i've never really... snowboarded... in my entire life... but it's still gonna be fuckin' awesome. and we go up EVERY WEEK and we hit the slopes HARDCORE and it's gonna rock. i'm like, pumped beyond all reason. i still have to get a snowboard... and like... winter clothes. BUT THAT'S FINE it's still gonna kick aaaass. so i'm kiiiiiind of tired and kiiiiiind of hungry... maybe i'll take a nap. i want to bone. like hardcore. hopefully alex will stop by like he saiiiiiid he would. hmm. alexis.

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October 19th, 2004

Current Music: ripchord -- rilo kiley Subject: sophie. Time: 07:36 pm Current Mood: contemplative

i miss my sister. i miss her a lot. because now my parents always ask me why i'm so fucked up and i can't crawl through the hole she made for me. sophie isn't around to go see the new hilary duff movie with me or pick me up frlom alex's house at 2 in the morning or take me to church. i can't stop crying when i think about sophie and it'll never be the same between us anymore because we won't live with each other ever again. and other people will matter to us more than each other and we're not going to be teenagers anymore. and there's something weird between sisters because i don't care if she tells anyone my secrets. and i can't stay made at her and she'll always be my best friend. we're so fucking related. it's like we're the same. and alex likes rachel more than anyone in the entire world. and i hate that he likes her more than me. because it's not like she's better than me. or has more than me. but she's his sister. of course she means more to him than i do. and i just miss sophie. and i'm alone. and everyone has everyone else and i just don't have anyone anymore.

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October 17th, 2004

Current Music: tale as old as time - beauty and the beast Subject: shit dude. Time: 03:18 pm Current Mood: listless

i guess what the problem is that i'm constantly on the verge of tears. and one little thing will happen and i'll snap and start crying. like i'll talk to my sister. and cry. alex won't take me seriously. and cry. my bangs won't straigten. and cry. i can't open a jar of pickles. and cry. i cry like, 14 times a day. i made kettle corn today. i made some hardcore kettle corn in an enormous vat. i made like, 409485039 pounds of kettle corn. and got some kick-ass blisters. they actually hurt like a mofo. but that's fine. friday was the homecoming game. and our float didn't work like it was supposed to. and that sucked. and then louie and i walked to his sister's cars and talked about college. and then i became really sad and left. and i went home and watched what not to wear and ate alex's and my ben and jerrys. that we probably wouldn't eat together anyway. my car always cuddles with me when i cry. she makes cute little meowy noises in her throat and nuzzles her head up close to mine and lays down by my face. i had to get up early on saturday to take the psats. which weren't too hard. not too bad at all. and then my dad and i went out and he bought me a golf glove and he bought some weird model train supplies. my dad has recently obsessed himself with model trains. WHAT THE FUCK. it's so random. there was like, this huge ass model train in the basement of this place that we went. and he like, flipped out and had weird fantasies about one of his own. anyway, then he took me out for lunch. and then i had to set up for te dance lke right when i got home. that was kinda chill. the dance looked pretty cool, in my opinion. but it took like flipping 4 hours. ridic. i went home and fell asleep and woke up and realized that i was supposed to be at the dance. so i got ready. and went. and it was a really nice dance. there were a lot of people and a lot of people dressed up. spirity. it was cool. i wish that i could have enjoyed it more. it was david's birthday yesterday. there was a surprise party for him at his house after the dance. i kind of just lay in his bed most of the time. because i'm a piece of shit and sulk a lot. faith lay with me for a while and played tetris. shes pretty bomb at tetris. david conwell is one of the most amazing people in the entire world. i definitely have a really big crush on him. kind of. i had to get up early today for the ivy pull. and i was really only there for like an hour because then i had to go volunteer for nw medical teams. and make kettle corn. and now i'm home. and i guess i really need to do my stack homework. and i guess i really need to clean my room. and i guess i really need to get my act together. -alexis- been thinking a lot today.

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October 15th, 2004

Current Music: warm love - van morrisson Time: 10:31 pm Current Mood: worried

we were sitting in your car. we were lying naked on your rough seat cover. and i was wearing my shoes. and we were lying there and it hurt. and it hurt and it scratched and it itched. and you had to be home. and i had something to see. but i was wearing my shoes and you were beautiful. and it didn't matter and we didn't want to leave. it was silent and we were silent. the moon was huge. it was amazing. we were scared of cars driving by and we were comforted by the tree that cascaded over us. i think i'm in love with you. you told me that you were in love with me. and you were in love sitting in a white toyota truck from '82 with a scratchy seat cover and dysfunctional battery and me. and you and me and you were in love. and i didn't love you back. i didn't think i loved you back. i didn't know what to think. i was kind of scared and i thought about you and i thought you were beautiful. why? why would you think that? i'm never happier when i'm with you. and i miss you a lot when i'm not with you. and i think about you and i always want to be with you. and i love you. and i felt the same way. but i was scared of it i guess and i didn't know what to do and i'm juvinile and immature and i didn't know what i was doing. and i am junivinile and i don't know what i'm doing. and i was afraid. and i thought about how we couldn't be there but we were and we stayed and we did and it was okay. it was really really okay. how could it not be? we were never happier when we were together. and then suddenly we couldn't be there. and the tree shriveled away and the moon wasn't so big and i wasn't wearing my shoes but i was wearing everything else. and nothing was wrong we just couldn't be there. now something's wrong. and we won't be there even if we could. and the moon is gone and the tree is obstructive and cars always drive by. and you don't think about me when i'm away. and you aren't happy when we're together. and you don't want to be with me. and i care but it doesn't matter because the tree is too big and the moon is too small. i'm waiting for the moon again. because i used to tell you it was a waning gibbous. but i haven't told you that lately. because it hasn't been there. and i just want it to be there so i can tell you it's waxing. it's big and growing. and i just want the moon to be there.

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October 14th, 2004

Current Music: sea anenome - jets to brazil Subject: alex edward manning Time: 07:28 pm Current Mood: confused

i guess i feel kind of ridiculous. i'm kind of going through the exact same thing that every other person ever goes through during highschool. you know. one of those times when your relationship feels like a worthless piece of shit. and uhh it's possibly the worst situation ever. ever. when i'm fucking sitting here. like sitting. here. and i have no idea what i should do. god fucking shit i feel disgusting. i just don't know what to do. i'm so fucking... clueless. and i'm tired and don't want to take the stack test tomorrow. i don't want to do anything anymore. it's so worthless. help?

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October 11th, 2004

Current Music: dragostea din tei Subject: holler? Time: 04:21 pm Current Mood: giddy

homecoming week? yeah holler. the best time of the year??? uh yeah holler. tomorrow is formal day and i get to pick out my outfit and do my hair??? YEAH HOLLER!!!!!!! god i love my life. alexis nuh mah nu mai ay

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September 28th, 2004

Current Music: sad for a day -- tilly and the wall Subject: blegh Time: 04:05 pm Current Mood: stressed

okay so here's what the problem is. today is the first day after school that alex and i haven't hung out. other than because of a club or something. and like. that should be fine. because we actually hang out too much. and alex is a really bad student and takes like, 7 hours to do his homework. and doesn't do any in school. i seriously think he should be checked for a.d.d. but don't tell him i said that. anyway. it should be fine. i mean i have to go in like, an hour anyway to do phone banking for the i-tax repeal and whatever. so like. it makes sense. but it still makes me so FUCKING angry that alex doesn't care. ever. if i'm like, there to hang out with him or not. and like. fuck. i put sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much time and energy into him. and you know, i want to because i like him. and that's what you do when you're like how we are. BUT HE DOESN'T CARE. for example. it's our four month anniversary. alex has a lot of homework that he has to stay home and do. so his friends (josh, duncan and his girlfriend) go to his house. to watch football. and whatever. okay, that's chill. he's still supposedly working on homework. soooo... you know... since it's our 1/3 of a year anniversary, i bake him cookies in the shape of "I <3 ALEX" and walk to his house spontaneously and set them out on his counter, along with a big plate of cookies for him and his friends. so that was like. my whole day. and then i left and went babysitting. and i was glad to do it. i mean, it was our four month anniversary. and you know. it wasn't that big of a deal. like, cookies. woo hoo. i baked cookies. just a cute thing, you know, in spirit of the situation. but it was definitely worthless. like, if i hadn't done that, alex would have thought nothing different of me. which is fine. i wasn't doing it to win his affection. i just wanted to be nice. ksdhkljfhslkksjdhflkjh. okay i'm complaining like a mother. but i don't care. i don't actually remember what my point is. i just think alex should have come over today after school. instead of having gone home. not that i want to spend time with him. but i guess it's not possible for him to hang out with me. or just do something random and sweet to show that he likes me as much as he says he does. maaaaaah. god i'm sorry. i probably shouldn't publish this. but i'm going to. okay so let me tell you a story. i went to school today aaaaaaand... it was uhh pretty hot. like literally, it was like 800 degrees today. that was cute. i was sweating like a mofo. but we won't talk about that. i learned how to mix photo chemicals in photography today. that was PRETTY chill. and i ummmm... learned how to say leg in german. biel. das biel. holler. oooh and last night i went to this super-sac type meeting with molly georgetta about the i-tax (measure 26-64 VOTE NO) and it was really interesting and there's a rally and stuff and a march and you know. it's gonna be chill. ksdjfhlasjkdhlfkawdhf fuck. anyway. i have to do my outline. i have to focus on school. i have to be a better student. gooooooddddddd i'm in such a bad mood. alexis it was getting kinda long it was almost getting in my way

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September 26th, 2004

Current Music: globes and maps -- something corporate Subject: oh fuck Time: 08:17 pm Current Mood: groggy

school feels like such an utter waste of time. i kind of just want to drop out and be home schooled. or like. drop out. and move to tahiti. like, seriously. seriously. school doesn't matter. it just doesn't MATTER. and i have no idea what i want to do with my life. education is too highly valued. there could be this amazing amazing person who does everything right but who like isn't educated. and they'll... lose their job. or their love. or respect. or something. i swear to fucking god everything is BROKEN. i blame the renaissance. FUCK THE RENAISSANCE. nevermind. i really liked the renaissance. but i don't know. it doesn't seem right that i have to spend 8 hours at school everyday learning things that i'm definitely not going to remember or value ever. BUT THAT'S WHAT HIGHSCHOOL IS FOR. highschool is so hard. so i'm listening to feel the rain by dreamstreet. have you ever listened to dreamstreet? they fucking rock. its like, a shitload of five year olds singing about their lost loves. it's hotter than a mother. HERE'S WHAT THE PROBLEM IS: I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL ANYMORE. i got my schedule changed. i don't have to have mr. groom anymore. praise the lord. it's teachers like that that make you really wonder. him and the HORRENDOUS smelling substitute mr. higbee had friday. THAT WAS SO GROSS. i think i'm going to fail us history. i'm definitely not doing very well. it's the tests that get to me. they're not that hard but like... i'm a moron. god i hate my life. so this weekend. i love the weekend. my sister was in tooowwnnn!!! we went to the rilo kiley concert on friday. holy shit. greatest experience OF MY FUCKING LIFE. like, it was amazing. sophie and jessica and ben and i went and like... dang. i have so much more respect for rilo kiley, if that's possible. god they're such geniuses. and when jenny lewis talked it makes you want to MELT. she's sooo adorable. and she has such a cutesy voice and she's so adorable and pretty and dresses so well and sings SUCH good music. and when she sings she gets all into it AW SPEAK OF THE DEVIL they just started playing on my playlist. but god, it's SO amazing when she sings and she makes this face that would be sooo unattractive on ANYONE else, but she looks so beautiful and so genuine and god it was amazing. and there were two other bands, now it's overhead and tilly and the wall. and tilly and the wall was like, fucking awesome and i loved watching them. they have two really pretty lead singers that are so fun to watch. because they're really pretty. and their percussionist is a tap dancer!! it was aweeesome. i loved them. it makes you want to be in a band. like, they're not that famous but i mean they still had sooo many fans and like, just going up there and singing and having everyone enjoy it... it was so cool. and god, people in a band must have such a good relationship. i mean, they must have SO much fun bussing around the country together. shit. hahaha and now it's overhead was awesome to watch too. the lead singer would NOT stop orgasming. i can't even count how many times he started making out with the microphone instead of singing or how many times he stuck his guitar in his crotch. HOT. that concert was so refreshing. i seriously think about it and feel utterly euphoric. it was amazing. and i got to spend time wiht sophie. and that rocked. she totally trashed the room during the 48 hours of her presence here. but that's fine. shit happens. anyway. the problem with that night was then alex called. and we fought. and sooo i could have like, mingled with the band. or met jenny lewis. but instead i just worsened my relationship wiht my favorite person ever. not a smart thing, alexis. but that's okay. yesterday morning i went to matt's house with david. and i can always always always count on david to make me happy. so i'm sitting at my house some day during the summer kinda alone and bored... and david says, dude alexis come over and eat applesauce with me. and like... we sat there... eating applesauce. and watching the patriot. uhhh best time of my life? yeah. close to it. anyway. so he was at matts house so i went to his house and we watched the brady bunch movie on tv. [sigh] i couldn't have asked for anything better. because then i went home and waiting for alex to call me. and pick me up four hours late. chill. then we went to sasha's harvest party. that was fun. kind of. sometimes. it was an amazing party, i wish i could have enjoyed it more. god i don't even want to tell the story. i don't think you really want to hear it either. so that's fine. alex and i... made up. we sat in her field. er, like, one of her thousand fields. and we sat criss cross applesauce and talked. and... idk. REALLY NOT THAT EXCITING I GUESS. it happens a lot i guess. it's just another stupid relationship i guess. but i love alex. he's a good guy. maaaaaah. on our way home we drove around for like, two hours. it was kind of pointless and not that exciting. but that's fine. anyway. then i came home kind of feeling sick and gross. so i slept. for three hours. and then liz called and i talked to her and i miss liz a lot. and i thrive on those random phone conversations we have. they're pretty amazing. ANYWAY then i ate dinner and started writing in this for waaaaay too long. so i'm going to go. i'm really trying to update more though, i'm working on it. i feel like it'll... i don't know, i'm shutting up. anyway. alexis. more shit, come on bring in some more shit.

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September 24th, 2004

Current Music: ellis paul -- the world ain't slowin' down Subject: schoool?! Time: 07:11 pm Current Mood: pleased

w00t so school started on thursday. and my school resolution is to... POST MORE IN MY LIVEJOURNAL. haha holler. which means like.. spend less time on homework and flunk out of school. but that's fine. you know. that's how i roll. i'm a flunkee. anyway. last night there was definitely a football game (that we lost) and that was amaaazing and like... they're the best part of school. ever. and then there was a dance. HOLLER!!!!! i've decided there are no hotter people in the world than alex mmanning and me. and when we're like, getting down on the dance floor? oh dang. we're like, on fire. and everything starts burning down. because we're really fine. and anyway, i had this huge spa party at my house tonight. and uhhh that was freaking BOMB. hot people in bathing suits? i think so. so we had a good time. w00t. aaaaaaanddddddddd.... you know... now it's the next morning... i had some toast for breakfast... i'll probably spend the entire day playing video games. maybe i'll buy josh a birthday present. i gotta get on that. BECAUSE HIS BIRTHDAY IS DEFINITELY TOMORROW... fucking shit. aaaaanyyyyywwwwwwwaaaaaaayyyyyy... i have no friends. so here i go. with playing video games. HOLLER. love alexis. ooooh and add 452 0602 to your phone, that's my phone line at my house. so call me. i head that we even beefin' now.

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August 31st, 2004

Current Music: how far - martina mcbride Subject: :-) Time: 03:24 pm Current Mood: thoughtful

ByMeAPizza (10:39:30 PM): i go to church ByMeAPizza (10:39:34 PM): and they're like ByMeAPizza (10:39:53 PM): okay so this minister woman gives this sermon about the power of positive thinking ByMeAPizza (10:40:01 PM): it's like, unitarian church ByMeAPizza (10:40:08 PM): so everyone is happy and accepting ByMeAPizza (10:40:14 PM): 70% of the church is homosexual ByMeAPizza (10:40:18 PM): you know, that kinda thing ByMeAPizza (10:40:23 PM): so i go to church ByMeAPizza (10:40:26 PM): and listen to this sermon ByMeAPizza (10:40:31 PM): and this woman ByMeAPizza (10:40:34 PM): talks about this guy she knew ByMeAPizza (10:40:44 PM): who owned a restaurant or wahtever ByMeAPizza (10:41:09 PM): and he was positively the most irritatingly positive person ever. ByMeAPizza (10:41:16 PM): and he was always happy ByMeAPizza (10:41:18 PM): and people were like ByMeAPizza (10:41:21 PM): wtf is wrong with you ByMeAPizza (10:41:22 PM): and then ByMeAPizza (10:41:34 PM): he leaves the back door of his restaurant open ByMeAPizza (10:41:46 PM): and he gets caught up in his restaurant ByMeAPizza (10:41:56 PM): and there's like, three burlgars and they're all like ahhhh give us your money. ByMeAPizza (10:42:05 PM): and so he gets scared ByMeAPizza (10:42:13 PM): and one of the burglars panics ByMeAPizza (10:42:16 PM): and shoots him ByMeAPizza (10:42:22 PM): and so the ambulance comes ByMeAPizza (10:42:25 PM): and they're like ByMeAPizza (10:42:32 PM): doing all this stuff ByMeAPizza (10:42:43 PM): and trying to save the guy and get the bullet out ByMeAPizza (10:42:56 PM): and you know, all the hospital people ByMeAPizza (10:43:03 PM): knew he was going to die ByMeAPizza (10:43:09 PM): and he was like, guys, just treat me ByMeAPizza (10:43:11 PM): like i'm alive ByMeAPizza (10:43:28 PM): and they were like WHATEVER ByMeAPizza (10:43:36 PM): and they asked him if he was allergic to anything ByMeAPizza (10:43:40 PM): and he goes ByMeAPizza (10:43:41 PM): YEAH ByMeAPizza (10:43:51 PM): and they stop everything they're doing and they say ByMeAPizza (10:43:56 PM): well, what are you allergic to?! ByMeAPizza (10:43:59 PM): and he says. ByMeAPizza (10:44:01 PM): ... ByMeAPizza (10:44:05 PM): BULLETS ByMeAPizza (10:44:09 PM): hahahahahaha ByMeAPizza (10:44:13 PM): anyway ByMeAPizza (10:44:30 PM): then they laugh ByMeAPizza (10:44:35 PM): and continue operating ByMeAPizza (10:44:37 PM): and he lives ByMeAPizza (10:44:45 PM): he still has shards of bullets in him, however. ByMeAPizza (10:44:49 PM): but after it's all over he says ByMeAPizza (10:45:03 PM): man. i should have closed the door.

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August 21st, 2004

Current Music: pieces of me -- ashlee simpson :-) Subject: infectious mononucleosis Time: 02:41 pm Current Mood: touched

i have moooooonooooo!!! w00t holler. it's not that bad. i just have to sleep a lot before my mom will let me go out. and drink water. but i looooove drinking water. so it's all chill. i kind of like being on house arrest. i finally got around to making a playlist. and that's pretty sweet. aaaand... i get to sleep. and that's chill too. sooooooo alex found out that i had mono and he was like dshfklajshldkjfhsdf i'm scared i'm going to get it i hate my life. and i was thinking, well. i have it. soooo umm feel sorry for me. and then he came oooooover! just to say hi. without telling me :-) and i started weeping tears of joy. BECAUSE ALEX AND I HAVE NOT REALLY BEEN ON THAT GREAT OF TERMS LATELY. partially because i'm sulky and irrational and partially because he ABANDONED ME ON OUR THREE MONTH ANNIVERSARY WHEN WE ALREADY HAD PLANS. cough. there's more to that story if you really want to hear it. but you probably don't. sooo that's chill. aaannnnnnyyyyyywwwwwaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy... alex came over. for like three seconds. just to say hi. :-D i love my life. i want to bake something. or sleep. or something. ksdjhfksldjlsdf. shizzle. goooooooooooddddddddddd iiiiiiiiii haven't posted in my livejournal in SUCH a long time. that is definitely NOT okay. sophie leaves for college on thursday :-( i'm missing registration because we're all going up there to get her situated. :-( i don't want sophie to leave. i love her. she was the only person who comforted me during my extreme time of need on thursday. and she bought me a teddy bear. i won't have anyone to buy me teddy bears anymore. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! oh well. i'm going to go to bed. i love you. alexis fexas TEXAS don't tell me 'cause it hurts.

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July 8th, 2004

Current Music: space -- something corporate Subject: fuck heads Time: 07:43 pm Current Mood: angry

fucking shit. so like this is like disgusting. i am in SUCH a bad mood. like no joke. like i have never been this angry. like i'm seriously not an angry person. at all. but fucking shit. i'm mad. anyway. i've decided that i hate my life. and like no one wants to listen to me complain so i'll talk to my livejournal and probably get a comment from emily fucking davis about how i'm a whiny brat. WHATEVER. yeah so like kjsdhfkljshlkdjfhsdf fuck. whatever. nevermind. GIVE ME SPACE BUT I CAN'T BREATHE GIVE ME SPACE BUT I CAN'T SLEEP GIVE ME JUST ONE INCH I SWEAR THAT'S ALL I NEED

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